Hamster Power!

The future of hamster powered servers
In the future, we intend to arrange our hamsters in a grid. Instead of using a couple of hamsters per server, we intend to use several thousand, capable of powering an irc network the size of efnet. This arrangement of hamsters in a frame will be known as the matrix, as the mathematical term for such a grid is a matrix. Our lawyers assure us that this name is original, and that we will not be sued for such a thing. Our lawyers also say custard protects against alien invasion.

The hamster-trix

Our hamster matrix will generate more energy from the hamsters by plugging them into a virtual hamster reality, where they can indulge their rodent fantasies. This will fool them into thinking they are in a real environment, making them more relaxed and generating more energy. This energy will be extracted by the patented ChatSpike bullshit extractor unit which is currently used to screen out server linking applications. Yet again, our lawyers assure us this idea is original, and has never been implemented before, and is legally sound.

HamsterPower pod (tm)

Control of the system

The hamster matrix will be managed by opers, who will be implanted into the system and will ensure the hamsters obey their masters and continue to generate power for us benevolent staff members.

Such a provision should satisfy our network's energy needs for the forseeable future, ensuring ChatSpike will be here for years to come!